𝐀 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐃𝐚𝐰𝐧- 𝐔𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐂𝐡𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐢’𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫

… 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆, 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒔 𝑼𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒉 𝑪𝒉𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒊 𝒃𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒖𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔

By Sonam Choki

Umesh Chhetri, a 36-year-old from Norbugang, Samtse, has faced a tumultuous journey battling alcohol use disorder for nearly sixteen years. His struggle with addiction began innocuously in his early teens, a time marked by familial challenges and the allure of village celebrations. Despite achieving initial success in business and family life, setbacks and personal losses pushed Umesh into a downward spiral of dependency, leading to fractured relationships and recurring rehabilitation efforts. Today, after a transformative experience at the Happiness Center in Phuentsholing, Umesh stands resilient, armed with newfound skills and a steadfast determination to rebuild his life.

Umesh Chhetri (UD) has been battling alcohol use disorder for almost 16 years. Now, he is recovering and has bigger dreams. “I started drinking alcohol when I was in my village and tried it for the first time in 2002 during my cousin’s child’s birthday when I was just 13 or 14 years old. I used to stay in my village and study in India because of issues with my citizenship identity card. I lived with my grandmother and whenever there were occasions, I would drink, but initially, I did so in hiding and not to the point of getting drunk,” said Umesh.

“In 2005, since I could not continue my studies, I migrated to Paro and lived with my cousin brother, where I also got employed in a handicraft. Fortunately, I earned a lot during my time working there. In six to seven months, I saved enough money and got married, since I had good savings, I thought it was okay to settle down. Life was good and going smoothly,” he added.

Later, he opened a handicraft shop in his wife’s name, thinking that life would be more comfortable if he started his own business rather than working for others. In the same year, they had a premature delivery. After that, some family and business problems arose, and their first child passed away. They had a second child the next year. After some time, his business faced difficulties, and with ongoing family issues, he hit rock bottom. He said, “My wife left me and moved to her family’s place with our second child, leaving me behind. In that situation, I was depressed and alone, with no business or family. I couldn’t even work for others as I had been a business owner. I couldn’t pay my house rent and didn’t even have a penny in my pocket. I was depressed and got admitted to Thimphu Hospital for two days. I received counseling from a specialist and was discharged.”

Then he was indulged in alcohol for several months. Later that year, he managed to arrange some money and went to reconcile with his wife. He noted, “She agreed to settle down with me in Thimphu, where we planned to establish a shop. My wife started a restaurant bar, and I worked in a shop to meet our expenses. I had consumed alcohol for over a year when I was alone, and without realizing it, I became addicted. By the time I recognized my addiction, it was very difficult to live without alcohol.”

“In 2013, I felt very sorry for my wife when I realized my addiction and tried to stop, but it was too difficult. I consulted specialists, who recommended a rehabilitation center. At that time, I thought rehabilitation centers were for mentally unsound people, so I refused to go and instead underwent detoxification. Since then, I stayed clean for two and a half months without consuming alcohol,” he claimed.

Whenever there was a family problem, he drank and lost control again. His wife left him with their child and moved somewhere he couldn’t trace. “Alone and with no one to live with, my condition deteriorated, and I found myself back in the same situation. I attended detoxification several times and relapsed repeatedly. Whenever I had money, I drank, and when I was out of money, I went for detoxification. I used to get jobs, but due to my drinking habits and the stinky nature of alcohol, I never lasted long. I worked for a few months, and when I got my salary, I would quit and drink. No one trusted me family, friends, and coworkers as I couldn’t concentrate on my job and kept lying. I even tricked doctors, saying I would undergo home detoxification, taking medicine from the hospital but not consuming it,” Umesh stated.

In 2016, he learned about Lama Shenphen Zangpo supporting recovering addicts, and he met Lama personally with great hope. “I saw many friends suffering from addiction being sent to rehabilitation centers, getting treatment, and standing on their own feet. I was very determined and sought help from Lama, who sent me to a rehabilitation center in Siliguri that same year. I stayed there for three and a half months, received treatment, and made good progress. After returning, I was recovering and worked at the DNC project. During that period, I met my second wife. After my grandmother passed away, my parents were in India, and none of my other family members had a good relationship with me. I had no one to guide or take care of me,” he said.

He started his life over with hope and happiness, but unfortunately, his dark days were not over. “My addiction was like my shadow, and I started drinking again. Within a few months, my habits returned to what they were before. At first, my wife didn’t notice, but later, when I went to the hospital for detoxification, she accompanied me, and the doctor told her my history and advised her to take good care of me. My wife was very supportive, but I failed every time.”

Hoping to change himself, he said he moved to Bangalore, India, and worked as a security officer. There, too, he couldn’t change and continued his drinking habits. After working for a year and half, he returned to the country. “We stayed with my in-laws, but due to my drinking, I never had a good relationship with them. Despite the support and help from my wife and her family, I could never control myself, even if I wanted to, as I was deeply into alcohol.”

“After many efforts by my wife and her family to keep me safe and my taking advantage of their love and care, my wife’s parents temporarily separated us. I lived alone and returned to my old habits no money, always drunk, loitering around town, with no proper place to live. One day I met an old friend who told me about the Happiness Center, where aftercare support is provided. He asked me to come with him to the Happiness Center in Phuentsholing, but since I was drunk, he left, asking me to join later. I thought there would be fees, and I didn’t have money, but Lama Shenphen Zangpo had already arranged for our stay at the center.” Later after he realized that his life was not worth living like that and it was filled with suffering in November 2022, he sought out the Happiness Center in Phuentsholing and got enrolled.

At the Happiness Center, he said he was disorganized and suffered from chronic depression, as there were no family members or partners to support him. He was under medication and aftercare support and started taking his life and treatment seriously. “I adhered to my schedule gravely and participated in activities and meditation, which helped me manage my anxiety and panic disorder. After six months of programming at the Happiness Center, I was discharged. It has now been one year and seven months that I have remained strong and clean.”

“From my experience, it’s important to admit and accept that we are alcoholics and addicted to ensure successful recovery; otherwise, relapse can occur at any time. Another crucial aspect is to stay in touch with our fellowship and share our stories openly. Once we start drinking, we lose control and can never be manageable drinkers because addiction is considered a brain disease.” He added.

During Umesh’s time at the center, He had the chance to attend certified training in baking, tailoring, home appliances, and more. “The Ministry of Industry, Commerce & Employment offered us training, support, recognition, and encouragement, I felt so encouraged and motivated.”

“Today, I am waiting for my call for Dessung training so that I can get my citizenship identity card and fulfill my dreams. I have received training in many fields now, and I have always aimed to be a successful businessman. I still catch up with my friends but remain cautious to avoid alcohol. To all my dear friends, I would like to say that recovery is possible with determination, willingness, and acceptance. To those who are occasional drinkers, remember that occasional drinking can turn into addiction before you realize it. It’s best to avoid it and not make it a habit.”