𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐎𝐝𝐝𝐬- 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞

…𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆: 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝑹𝒂𝒋𝒆𝒔𝒉 𝑺𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒂 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒅𝒅𝒔

Rajesh Subba’s story is one of profound struggle and remarkable recovery. Growing up in Simtokha, Thimphu, Rajesh began drinking alcohol as early as sixth grade in 1996. Initially, it was a source of entertainment during special occasions. His father, a straightforward and trusting man, granted him considerable freedom. Rajesh now reflects, “Before I could mature, I went astray.”

After school, Rajesh would drop his bags at home and head out with friends to play basketball and socialize until late at night. Upon returning home, his father would leave the door open, and Rajesh would go straight to the kitchen for dinner before heading to bed. In the morning, when questioned about his whereabouts, Rajesh would lie, claiming he was engaged in homework or school activities. Looking back, he realizes he was deceiving not only his father but himself.

This pattern continued through his high school years. Rajesh recalls being arrested in seventh grade and spending three days in police custody before being released thanks to his parents’ intervention. Despite their emotional reactions and reprimands, he felt no remorse at the time.

Following his father’s retirement, Rajesh’s parents moved back to their village, leaving him behind in Thimphu. Despite having older siblings and many relatives in the city, he neither visited them nor did they show concern, knowing he was battling alcohol use disorder. “I was homeless but managed to survive by working at a hotel. My focus was solely on when and where I would get my next dose. My days revolved around this obsession. I forgot everything, even my parents. The police station became my home, where I was frequently arrested,” he said.

His longest prison term lasted one year. Rajesh recalled, “When I received the sentencing, my mother came crying after me, but I felt nothing. During my release, she was very emotional, but I had no tears or feelings. I started using again immediately after being released.”

Rajesh would avoid his relatives and family, often seeking money from them to buy alcohol. His life was marked by drinking, substance use, various arrests, and homelessness. Rajesh said, “The worst thing that happened was when I got married in 2014. My wife, a very decent woman, always tried to turn my life around. When we met, I was already into it. Despite having a home and parents, I behaved as though I had neither. We married and had a son, now he is in class eight. I failed as a husband, constantly relapsing after brief periods of sobriety,” Rajesh explained. Eventually, his wife left him and moved to Gelephu, partly due to his behavior. “I was unable to support her, and my parents did not help because of my habits,” he added.

After that, he continued his old habits for two to three months before realizing his mistakes and going to his wife to ask for forgiveness. He said, “After having had a dreadful life with me for the past Five years, my wife had suffered a lot because of my habits, but she still forgave and accepted me, thinking about our son.”
While staying together, after a few months, he relapsed again. From 2014 till 2019, they had a terrible life. He was unable to earn, they lived in a rented house, and his wife managed all the expenses by herself. Because of him, his wife was ostracized by her family, who said she could not divorce him and live alone. He was unable to change, and his wife had to bear the consequences.

In 2019, he hit his wife with a weapon and was imprisoned for three months. After being released from that term, he couldn’t go back to his wife as she was already ignored by her parents because of him, and on top of that, he had raised his hand against her. “I lived a life like hell after that. My parents completely excluded me, I couldn’t go back to my wife, and my wife’s parents never included me. All this was because of my disorder, and there was no one with me,” he remark.

The day he was released, he consumed alcohol out of guilt, he said. He thought he would go to his younger brother’s place in Phuentsholing and headed there, but unfortunately, he couldn’t reach his brother’s place. Instead, he fell asleep on the street, dead drunk. In the meantime, a team from the Happiness Center saw him, came, and took him to the center.

Rajesh noted, “I knew Bhup Dhoj Ghalley, Project Director of the Happiness Center, for a long time. He used to encourage me to go to a rehabilitation center and get treatment, but I used to avoid him and hide. That day, when I regained consciousness, I was at the Happiness Center, and the team had already called my brother there.”
The Happiness Center team suggested that he should go to a rehabilitation center, and with no other alternative, he accepted and was admitted. He stayed there for three months undergoing treatment and then returned to the Happiness Center for aftercare. He remarks, “During my treatment at the rehabilitation center, my younger brother sponsored all my expenses. I am very thankful to my brother for that great gesture, and my new life’s credit goes to him.”

Right after returning, just as he began his recovery, his father passed away. He had lost his mother a long time ago when he was drinking and didn’t care about anything except his daily quota, he explained. He had a case in court related to his marriage, but he stayed strong due to the fellowship and other programs at the Happiness Center. Bhup Dhoj Ghalley, the Project Director, was his counselor and sponsor, supporting him through these difficult times. With their support, he could attend his father’s funeral and then return to the center.

After that, he called his wife and talked to her, and after she set some conditions, they got back together. “My wife is another reason for my fruitful recovery. Once we are clean and strong, all our friends and family come back together,” he declared.

Later, he went to stay with his wife, but he still carried a lot of guilt in his heart for the trouble he had caused in the community and for raising his hand against his wife. Because of this, he could not walk with his head held high, but he did not relapse.

During his using days, people would run away when they saw people like Rakesh. He said, “I used to wear the same clothes for months. No one washed them for me, and I wouldn’t either. Who would buy new clothes for me? If I got Nu. 50, I would drink, and if I got Nu. 100, the next day I would use substances. I never thought of any life beyond these; such is the disorder. But I was helpless, sick without even knowing it,” he noted. “Today, I would like to thank the team at the Happiness Center, my younger brother, and my entire family who have supported me in this new life and for making me strong,” Rajesh said.

He wasted 22 fruitful years to addiction. He said, “Till this day, I have been clean for five years, and all the credit goes to the Happiness Center in Phuentsholing. If I stay clean, even if we just have one meal a day, we can share it with our families with a smile on our faces. If I stay clean, more than 30 to 40 people connected to me can live happily and in peace. Now, I can feel the way my family and my wife’s family were tormented due to my behaviors. Every day, I maintain an inventory in which I write how I spend my day and realize so many things. For the past memories, I take them as lessons.”

Nowadays, Rajesh runs a shop with his wife, which was started by her. He is self-sufficient and can support their families as well.

To those who are suffering from addiction, Rajesh says, “Common people cannot understand, accept, or admit that this is a disease, and no one can force people with addiction to go to a rehabilitation center. But please remember, never say ‘today I will take it and from tomorrow I will stop,’ because tomorrow never comes. We have to stop today and from right now.”

To the youth, Rajesh says, “If you try it, it’s certain you cannot wake up, so it’s better not to touch it at all. Engage yourself in sports and studies.”

Reach out to Happiness center, Phuentsholing at 0097517772396, Bhup Dhoj Ghaley, Project Director and 00975 77730070, Ugyen Dorji, Co-founder.