𝐓𝐢𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐤 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬

…𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒃𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

By Pema Wangmo

In the rapidly evolving digital age, social media platforms have become integral to our daily lives, shaping how we communicate, connect, and even form romantic relationships. Among these platforms, TikTok, initially known for its viral videos and challenges, has recently emerged as an unexpected venue for digital matchmaking, particularly in Bhutan. This trend has sparked a heated debate over its impact on marriages and relationships. While some users find love and companionship through TikTok, others experience increasing strain on their marriages, raising questions about the platform’s role in modern relationship dynamics.

TikTok’s matchmaking trend in Bhutan is gaining momentum, with several users taking on the role of digital matchmakers, helping individuals connect and explore potential relationships. One of the prominent figures in this trend is 39-year-old Tashi Dhendrup. Tashi’s journey with TikTok began two years ago when he stopped drinking alcohol and turned to the platform as a way to keep his mind occupied. His initial attempts at engaging with TikTok were not successful, but with persistence, he found his niche.

Tashi now hosts a popular matchmaking program on TikTok, where he interacts with participants through live hosting sessions. The program, known as “Day to Date” or “Blind Date,” operates on a straightforward premise, participants must impress each other during the live sessions. If they succeed, they are allowed to chat privately and explore their compatibility further. If they decide they are not a good match, they return to the group for another chance.

Tashi takes a cautious approach to ensure the authenticity of the participants in his program. He carefully researches their backgrounds, particularly their marital status, before allowing them to join the show. This due diligence is crucial, as Tashi emphasizes the risks associated with online relationships, especially when it comes to inappropriate requests for content or sexting. He advises participants, particularly women, to avoid and report such behavior.

Tashi’s program has gained significant popularity, especially among single mothers who are looking for companionship. Many of these women come from his wife’s show, “Aum Teepee’s Talk Show,” which discusses topics related to love, relationships, and family. Tashi notes that while some married individuals may participate in his show, most women are informed enough to avoid engaging with married participants once they learn the details.

Tashi believes that married people should focus on their existing relationships rather than seeking new ones online. To encourage meaningful interactions, he has developed an online marketing theme and a communication program that includes a daily course for TikTok friends. This approach aims to foster genuine connections and prevent the pitfalls of superficial online interactions.

Despite the program’s success, Tashi is aware of the potential downsides of online matchmaking. He encourages participants to turn on their cameras during live sessions to ensure transparency, particularly for those in relationships. While Tashi has not encountered significant issues with marital problems among his participants, he remains vigilant and advises them to take the process seriously.

Another TikTok user, 31-year-old Sonam Tobgay, shares his experience with digital matchmaking. After going through a divorce last November, Sonam began exploring TikTok and noticed matchmaking programs being organized by users in other countries. Inspired by this trend, he decided to create his own matchmaking program in Bhutan, primarily targeting divorced individuals looking to move on and find new partners.

Sonam’s program is slightly different from others, as it focuses on helping divorced individuals and those of marriageable age find the right person. However, Sonam admits that his program has its challenges, particularly when it comes to participants taking the process seriously. While some people engage positively, others join the program for fun, which can be disheartening for those genuinely seeking a connection.

Despite these challenges, Sonam’s program has received positive feedback from single individuals in Bhutan. He carefully reviews profiles to determine if participants are using fake or real accounts and relies on a TikTok game where viewers can send virtual gifts, known as the “tap tap game,” to assess the authenticity of participants. Sonam also encourages shy individuals to participate as co-hosts, making it easier for them to find and choose the right person.

While TikTok matchmaking programs offer a platform for individuals to connect, they also raise concerns about transparency and privacy. Sonam acknowledges the potential for marital strain, particularly when participants are not transparent about their marital status. He advises participants to be cautious before entering a relationship, as some people may use fake accounts. To mitigate these risks, Sonam suggests that after matching on TikTok, participants should add each other on WhatsApp or Messenger to get to know each other better before meeting in person.

Karma Yonten, a 38-year-old TikTok user, shares a similar perspective. Despite the skepticism of his friends, Karma believes that TikTok can be a valuable platform for finding a life partner. As the eldest child of a single, uneducated mother, Karma understands the concerns about online connections. However, he remains hopeful that online programs offer a chance to meet someone who accepts him for who he is, including his flaws and past experiences.
Among the stories emerging from TikTok’s matchmaking trend is the complex tale of Tashi Palden, a 30-year-old man.

Tashi’s life has been marked by deep struggles with alcoholism, brushes with the law, and social stigma. However, his story is also one of dedication to his family, perseverance through hardship, and the pursuit of redemption.

Tashi’s journey began in a WeChat group dedicated to “blind dates.” His wife, who was struggling with depression due to relationship problems, was introduced to the group by a friend. There, she met Tashi, who was acting as a matchmaker. What started as casual conversations about their personal lives and relationship challenges soon blossomed into something deeper, leading to a romantic relationship.

However, their relationship faced significant hurdles from the start. Tashi was entangled in a legal case and feared a lengthy prison sentence. Despite these challenges, their bond strengthened, and they committed to each other as husband and wife. Tashi, who owned a karaoke business, asked his wife to manage it while he was potentially away. She agreed, showing her deep commitment to their relationship and their shared future.

Tashi’s struggles with alcohol were a significant challenge in their relationship. While he was a good person at heart, his behavior changed drastically under the influence of alcohol, making it difficult for his wife to cope. Despite these difficulties, their relationship endured, and their joy knew no bounds when they discovered they were expecting a child.
The birth of their first child was a momentous occasion. Tashi, despite his ongoing battle with alcohol, was his wife’s only helper during delivery. His willingness to follow his wife’s guidance showed his commitment to his family. When she confronted him about his drinking, Tashi listened and took his first step towards quitting alcohol by switching from hard liquor to soft drinks.

The pandemic brought with it economic difficulties that tested their resilience further. The karaoke business, their sole source of income, had to close due to COVID-19 restrictions. Despite their financial struggles, Tashi and his wife decided against applying for government aid, believing there were others more in need. Tashi eventually found work as a welder’s helper, while his wife worked as a babysitter to contribute to their household.

Tashi’s story is one of complexity, marked by love, struggle, and the search for redemption. His life has been a series of ups and downs, with moments of deep connection and joy, as well as periods of intense hardship. Despite his struggles with alcohol and the social stigma attached to his past, Tashi has remained dedicated to his family, striving to be a good husband and father.

His journey highlights the challenges faced by many individuals dealing with addiction, legal issues, and economic hardship. It also emphasise the importance of love, understanding, and support in overcoming these challenges. Tashi’s story is a reminder that redemption is possible, even in the face of overwhelming adversity, and that the bonds of family can provide the strength needed to endure life’s toughest trials.

As TikTok’s influence continues to grow, its role in reshaping modern relationship dynamics is becoming more significant. The stories of individuals like Tashi Dhendrup, Sonam Tobgay, Karma Yonten and Tashi Palden highlight the potential for genuine connections through digital matchmaking. However, the challenges associated with transparency, privacy, and marital strain cannot be ignored.

The debate over TikTok’s impact on marriages is far from settled. While the platform offers opportunities for individuals to find love and companionship, it also presents risks that need to be carefully navigated. As TikTok continues to evolve, its influence on marriage dynamics is likely to grow, raising important questions about the long-term effects of digital matchmaking on real-life partnerships.

For those seeking love or companionship, TikTok has become a powerful tool, helping them navigate the evolving landscape of modern relationships. However, as with any tool, it must be used with caution and awareness of its potential impact on existing relationships. As society continues to grapple with the implications of digital matchmaking, the stories of those who have found love, faced challenges, and navigated the complexities of online relationships will provide valuable insights into the future of modern romance.

TikTok is a social media platform for creating, sharing, and discovering short videos. The app is used by young people as a form of entertainment and self-expression. Despite its potential for matchmaking, the platform also poses risks, including exposure to inappropriate content and emotional distress. Many are concerned about the potential for misuse and the impact of such trends on traditional relationship norms.