𝐘𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐥𝐞𝐲’𝐬 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲: 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥 𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲

…”𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒔, 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒋𝒖𝒂𝒏𝒂, 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍”

By Tenzin Euden

In a poignant revelation, Yeshi Thinley bravely shares his harrowing journey through alcohol addiction. He recounts that he first started drinking in second or third grade. As a child, he aspired to become a monk, a wish he fulfilled. However, upon joining the monastery, Thinley witnessed his friends succumbing to trouble and alcohol addiction. “I saw my friends veer onto the wrong path and become addicted to alcohol, but I don’t blame them. I blame myself for not being able to resist and take care of myself. I allowed myself to become addicted to alcohol and enjoyed it, forgetting about the consequences,” he admits.

Thinley explains that he always believed alcohol could boost his confidence. Being an introvert, he felt compelled to turn to drinking. His peers convinced him that alcohol could enhance energy and confidence, aiding in social interactions such as flirting with girls.

Yeshi Thinley explained that achieving success and positive results is not easy and takes a lot of time. However, becoming addicted to alcohol or any other substance can happen in just minutes. He said, “I didn’t use tablets, marijuana, or any other substances. I was just addicted to alcohol, and this obsession was out of my control.” He was addicted to alcohol for almost 15 to 16 years, and he found it very difficult to quit. Yeshi reflected on how his addiction started, saying, “I think I started drinking alcohol when I saw my father enjoying it, and I might have been inspired by him. Moreover, being a Sharshop (from Eastern part of the country), we have a culture of drinking alcohol on every occasion, such as rituals, Losar, and many more.”

Yeshi Thinley shared that he started drinking alcohol as a child, but his addiction became uncontrollable after he joined the monastery and spending time with friends. “I felt good when I first tried it, but days turned into months, and months into years, which naturally resulted in addiction and full of disappointment. My parents, relatives, and society were disappointed and turned their back. I experienced numerous mental health issues, including breakdowns, hallucinations, anxiety, and depression. These struggles literally tortured me.” He added.

“Once we are sober, we feel introverted, but when alcohol gets into your body, you become tiger-hearted, and not only bond with known people, but many unknown people become friends,” he noted.
Yeshi admitted that, in his quest for alcohol, he did many wrong and shameful things, such as begging and lying, just to get a drink. These actions made him feel worse than an animal. “Due to alcohol addiction, I forgot that I have my family and relatives who seek goodness for me,” he added.

He explained that alcohol made him act like a crazy man, and his addiction spiraled out of control to the point where he couldn’t control his drinking anymore. Yeshi Thinley reflected on the impact of his behavior on his family, particularly his mother and siblings. “My mother and siblings always used to question my behavior because I was more like a hooligan and used to do nasty things like breaking plates, cups, and other items that my parents bought with their hard-earned money,” he said.

“I shouted at them as if I was the one looking after them, filled with anger. Now, when I look back, I regret treating them like animals and strangers,” Yeshi said in apology. After being addicted for 15 to 16 years and experiencing numerous relapses, Yeshi Thinley has been sober and recovering for the past one year. “When I was depended on alchole, wherever I stayed, I created problems. My core controller was alcohol. I couldn’t help my parents with anything; instead, I gave them problems after problems. Even when I was a monk, I couldn’t follow the rules and regulations, and I also had problems with my friends. Alcohol is something that fully changes your personality. Other than alcohol, for me, there was nothing else,” he said.

Yeshi’s battle with alcohol addiction has been a tumultuous journey, marked by defiance and struggle. Despite the pleas of family members, he remained obstinate, refusing to heed their concerns. The intervention came when law enforcement presented him with a stark choice: seek treatment or face imprisonment. Recognizing the situation, his siblings intervened, escorting him to a hospital for detoxification. However, even after undergoing detox, his resolve to abstain from alcohol remained weak. Aware of the detrimental effects of his addiction, he reluctantly consented to a 10 months treatment program at a Chithuen Phendhay Association (CPA) – Bhutan for Drug Free Society. Throughout his time in treatment, Yeshi endured immense hardships, often fixating on the countdown to his eventual release rather than embracing the healing process. Despite the efforts of healthcare professionals and the support of his family, Yeshi experienced a relapse upon completing the program. He attributes the relapse to a lack of job opportunities, which exacerbated feelings of depression and despondency. In moments of despair, alcohol seemed to offer solace, becoming a crutch upon which Yeshi relied heavily. Despite the unwavering support of his family, his refusal to heed their advice left them exhausted and despondent, ultimately leading to strained relationships.

He said that he had relapsed three times, leading to severe illness and vomiting blood. He then reached out to his fellow mate Sangay Dawa for help. After again being admitted to rehab for second time and receiving treatment, he relapsed for the third time. Yeshi mentioned, “Addicts suffer from a disease known as chronic relapsing disorder, where they never know when a relapse might occur.” After experiencing his third relapse, even his friends stopped helping him, causing him to endure immense suffering and become completely destitute. He likened himself to being worse off than a dog, sleeping anywhere without proper food. He emphasized, “The only distinction between himself and a dog was his humanity.” After enduring significant hardships, Yeshi received assistance from The Pema Secretariat. They provided valuable advice, encouraged him to seek treatment, facilitate his journey to a treatment center. With their support, his family began to accept him back into their lives and offered their support. He expressed, “Through the support and efforts from The Pema, I was admitted to the Happiness Center in Phuentsholing.”

Yeshi expressed that there’s a vast difference between being an addict and a recovering addict. “Before, I was akin to a beggar, in the worst possible situation.” He reflected. “But now, I feel better and even uneasy about relapsing.” He admitted. He’s striving to maintain his sobriety, realizing that it has already consumed half of his life. “Being in a state of sobriety not only aids physically but also fosters happiness, peace, and stringer bonds with family. It naturally transforms one’s personality.” He explained. “I have endured immense suffering simply because I made mistake of touching alcohol at a very young age and not knowing the limit.” He added.

He is still a recovering addict and he still lives with the constant worry of reverting to his old ways. However, he emphasized that he keeps his mind strong and organized. Comparing his past and present situations, he noted that previously, he was treated and felt worse than animals, but now he can confidently assert that he’s a capable of more than mere survival. He’s self motivated and determined to lead his life in a proper manner, willing to take any job. Yeshi’s story serves as a moving reminder of the enduring grip of addiction and the challenges faced by those seeking recovery. It shows the importance of comprehensive support systems and the need for social interventions to address the root causes of addiction. His journey stands as a testament to the resilience requires overcoming the clutches of addiction.