𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢’𝐬 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭

…𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕

By Sonam Choki

Dothi was a sweet name given by his grandparents out of love and affection. He started using at the age of 11 in the year 1992. Initially, he began with marijuana, influenced by those around him, out of curiosity. It started with just a try, but by the time he realized, he was already suffering from substance use disorder. Despite his well-dressed appearance, he would wander around town, often unsure where to spend the night. Sometimes he slept at friends’ places, other times on the streets or in forests, especially suffering during cold winters.

The reason he was easily influenced and carried away was that his parents were illiterate and had little knowledge about parenting. It all started when his mother had a second child, his younger brother. His mother began to focus more on the younger sibling since he was still small, while Dothi, being the elder, received less guidance. He felt ignored and believed his brother was loved and cared for more. This sense of insecurity and jealousy made him more vulnerable to substance abuse.

“After I started using, I was neglected by my family and not accepted at home. I was left out on the streets without basic needs like shelter and food, and I was arrested and detained several times,” he said. After he started using, he would lie, rob people, get involved in fights, and engage in unacceptable behavior, which resulted in about 15 years of his life spent in custody, in various incidents. He said that because of his disorder, he wasted half of his life behind bars.

His father passed away when he was a child due to alcohol use disorder, and he says he doesn’t even remember what his father looked like. It was his stepfather who raised him, took care of him, and provided him with a proper education. ‘Despite my stepfather’s care and efforts to give me a good education, I failed on my part and dropped out of school after the 6th standard,’ Dothi added. He passed the 6th standard and was studying in 7th grade, but by then, he had become uncontrollable. He would attend school for a few months, but due to his misbehavior, he was repeatedly suspended. After each incident, his parents would enroll him in a new school, but his behavior remained the same. After repeated offenses, he eventually discontinued his studies.

Dropping out of school had a deteriorating effect on him, leading to increased aggression, substance use, involvement in immoral activities, and ultimately landing him behind bars. Dothi said, “My disorder has cost me so much that the person who was there for me every time, who was more than a father to me, passed away while I was in custody, and I couldn’t even pay my last respects.”

Right after he was released from custody, he learned about the death of his stepfather from his friends. This news drove him to drink and use substances again. “It was my disorder that led me to use substances, not any other reasons,” Dothi reflected. “I got drunk, assaulted few police Personal and fled to Paro, where my parents were preparing for the 21-day rites for my stepfather.” He added. He attended the rites and was with his sister in Paro town when he was charged with assaulting police Personal and was imprisoned again.

He served one year and two months in detention and was released in 2002. By then, he had begun to realize that this was not how life should be and he stayed clean for about a month. However, when he relapsed, his substance use became more extensive and severe than before. He was kicked out of his home, jobless, stayed at friends’ places, and sometimes starved while other days he would eat. He engaged in embezzlement and ended up in custody again. “I suffered a lot personally and caused a lot of trouble for my family due to my substance and alcohol use disorder,” he remarked.

In 2012, his friend asked him to help with his shop, and they went to Phuentsholing to get stock. While there, they also bought substances and started their journey from Phuentsholing to Thimphu at 7:00 PM. Around 11:00 PM, they reached Tanalume, where police officers were conducting routine checks. Dothi and his friend were caught and taken into police custody. After 14 days, their friends managed to bail them out. At that point, Dothi realized he had no support from his family, all because of his habits.

He sought support from Sonam Tshering, founder of the ‘Jurwa’ Chithuen Phendhey Association, who guided him to a rehabilitation center. With support from Lama Shenphen Zangpo, he was enrolled in the rehabilitation center at Serbithang on July 12, after detoxification. Even during those days, he didn’t genuinely want to stop, he had chosen the rehabilitation center primarily to avoid the sentencing he faced for drug trafficking. He believed it was better to stay in the rehabilitation center for three months than to face 4 to 5-year prison sentence. During the first month of his treatment, he was still contemplating using substances again and even considered withdrawing. Fearing life behind bars, he decided to stay. By the second month, he began to realize that his previous actions were wrong. “I thought I was wrong all this time, and from here on, I promised myself that I would never commit any bad deeds or use alcohol and substances again,” he stated.

His friend’s parents would come to visit them at the center, but since his own family did not visit him, his self-esteem dropped, and he felt very sad. On the other hand, he tried to cover up his feelings by thinking that everything was the result of his own habits.

After completing the 3-month rehabilitation program, he was confused and worried about how to sustain himself. He hoped that, having stopped his previous habits, his family might accept him back home. So, he decided to return. However, when he arrived, he found his mother locking the house and saying she was going to the village. He turned away, thinking that this was all a consequence of his own behavior.

He spent his days at the dropping center and, for three months, slept in the forest, where he would spend time with friends while using substances. During this period, he could have sought help from Sonam Tshering and Lama Shenphen Zangpo, but he lacked the courage to approach them. “Later, Sonam Tshering found out about my situation and allowed me to sleep in his office at the Chithuen Phendhey dropping center,” he said. Although food was provided at the center, he mentioned that he had very few clothes to wear. He later started working at the GYM, his friend’s brother in-law used to operate and had little earning to sustain himself. After few months he got married and in two years he was jobless again as the GYM was sold. He then capitalized on his cooking skills and started to selling momo around Paro town. His earning was just enough to pay his monthly expenses so he sold printed pictures to increase his source of income since his wife was pregnant.

His business was not doing well, and he was very worried as the time approached for his wife to give birth. He received a call from Nazhoen Lamtoen about a short film shoot, so he started working with them.

After the delivery of his first child, his sister, who was residing abroad, helped him find a job, and they settled in Mongar. A few months later, they lost all their belongings in a fire and had to start over from scratch. He felt hopeless and at times considered using alcohol and substances to escape the difficulties he was facing. However, he always put his wife and child first and never gave up. With the support money provided by the government for victims of the fire, he resettled and later moved to Kurtoed for a new job. When that situation proved unsuitable, he returned to Thimphu.

“I then sought help from Thinley of Nazhoen Lamtoen, and he advised me to join Care Bhutan as a social entrepreneur. Things went well for two years, I was earning well and managing everything,” he added. However, problems arose with his wife, and they got a divorce. After years of struggle and several job changes, he started a restaurant and settled in Thimphu. He is clean for 12 Years now and is running a restaurant. “Though I struggling doing business but I work hard to and I motivate myself and try to stay strong.” He declares.

As a token of advice, he states, “Please do not use alcohol and substances in your life. They will never bring you peace, instead, they make you see only darkness, even in daylight. Even if good things are in front of you, you won’t be able to appreciate them. So please stay away from these substances, and if you are already using them, seek help from organizations like the Happiness Center and visit a rehabilitation center for treatment.”

Dothi’s journey from the depths of substance abuse to a life of stability and self-reliance is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. His story illustrates not only the profound personal struggles faced by those battling addiction but also the critical role of support systems and self-determination in overcoming these challenges. As Dothi has demonstrated through his own transformation, recovery is not just about leaving behind old habits but forging a new path filled with purpose and hope. His message to others is clear: while the darkness of addiction can be overwhelming, seeking help and remaining steadfast in one’s resolve can lead to a brighter, more fulfilling life. His continued dedication to building a better future stands as an inspiring example for all, emphasizing that even the most daunting obstacles can be surmounted with courage, support, and perseverance.

Reach out to:- Happiness center, P/ling
Bhup Dhoj Ghaley, Project Director: 0097517772396,
Ugyen Dorji, Co-founder: 00975 77730070